So tell me why

Many questions have been running through my mind in the night like this, the night when I am surrounded by people who should be called friends, but to me they are nothing more than acquaintances, and I don't think I am more than that to them, too. Tell me why I have to live by ignoring all the problems happening to my life! Tell me why I have to act like nothing happen, ignoring the fact that my life is nothing but a mystery! Tell me why all the shits that happen to my family can't be solved! And tell me why I can't seem to see the exit door! It's hard to live shouldering all of these by myself. I wish I could share it all with someone, but it is just sad that I can't even tell mum how much I hate our family's situation and that I can't even tell one of my best friends how big the problem is. Maybe one day, I will have the courage to tell just one person and let that someone help shouldering my problem. Until that time, tell me why I have to live like this.